Emmanuel College The Hub

Written by: Caroline Kanaley

Will Julia Fox ever be truly down the drain? This summer I dipped my toes into the sparkling sea that is the allusive Julia Fox. Sitting down to read her debut memoir Down the Drain, I had no idea that I would be sucked into a world of drugs, sex work, evil men, the immigrant experience, and, of course, stilettos and eye-liner. Prior to becoming Fox’s self-proclaimed biggest fan and advocate, I only knew what the headlines and viral Tik Tok sounds allowed me to: she dated Kanye West and was Josh Safdie’s muse when he wrote “Uncut Gems”. When I hear about any woman in the zeitgeist with many famous men’s names attached, my ears frequently perk up. Any good student of culture knows that such a figure is likely ten times more interesting than the men associated with her. To my enjoyment, “Down the Drain” proved to be accurate. The hit memoir paints a neon yet rugged image of the whirlwind of a life the provocateur has made for herself.  

The most salient motif of the glowing text was self-discovery and reclaiming her femininity away from the men that took it for their own. Fox speaks of her time growing up in Italy with her mother, clad in school uniforms and indited with the Cosa Nostra, to her being shipped off to New York City to live with her shady yet loving father. In childhood, she bops from Italy to NYC, causing just enough trouble in one town to be in personal exile and flee to another, before settling in Manhattan. Never Brooklyn, unless it was for a loft party, of course. Fox found herself somewhat of a manic pixie dream girl to the allusive frustrated male artists of 2014-18. One of the most prominent discourses surrounding Julia and her book is an interview she did on Monica Lewinsky’s podcast, Reclaiming. In the interview she discusses what it truly feels like to be a man’s muse. Fox states earnestly, “A man’s love is so heavy, it will weigh you the fuck down, it’s a big weight to carry.” It appears much of her growth has been shedding that weight and existing for herself.   

While the book does have a lot of content about her past relationships, stories of abuse, fame, lust, manipulation, and love (frequently all within the same man) she makes a point to highlight her female friendships and own perseverance. Fox says that she wants to continue telling stories that are female-centered, even wanting to branch into fiction. She told Jessica Testa of The New York Times that her female friendships are “the strongest, most beautiful, trusting relationships I’ve ever had, and they are the ones that stand out in my mind over any boyfriend I’ve ever had.” Fox even admits that prior to maturing and becoming at peace with her femininity, she often had a more male-centered mindset. She speaks about reclaiming her body, seeing herself no longer for a man’s satisfaction. Within that interview, she states, “I know there are men who would totally hook up with me in a heartbeat, but it’s not what defines me anymore. Before that was my identity: the hot girl. That’s not me anymore.”  

 In Fox’s interview with Monica Lewinsky, she also discusses her own relationship with her appearance saying, “I have always found beauty in destruction, I find beauty in you being able to rise from the ashes and reclaim your life…that’s where the beauty is, in truth.” Julia has lived her life by one mantra, being true to what she wants and what she knows she is capable of. Fox doesn’t try to deny the seedier aspects of her early life, such as being a dominatrix, which she looks back on rather fondly. Or, during a brief stint in a Pennsylvania jail, she emphasizes that it was those very experiences that made her the wise, empathetic, and resilient supernova she is today. On page 317 of “Down the Drain”, Fox writes, “Sometimes you have to say fuck it and throw your life away down the drain just to see where you’ll come out on the other side…Because the truth is, anyone that is someone first started out as a delusional dreamer.” Fox also sees the beautiful impact she has made on girls all over the country that have come to idolize her for her individualism and self-assurance. She continues in her book stating, “a group of girls inside a restaurant recognize me and begin jumping up and down…Everywhere I turn, I see girls dressed like me…I was ridiculed for being different and for doing whatever I had to do to survive. But now everyone is wearing latex” (pg. 318). 

Citations 

Fox, Julia. Down the Drain. Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2023. 

Monica Lewinsky, host. “Julia Fox on Sobriety and Shattering the Myths of Motherhood.” Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky, 2 September. 2025. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVPgoUdlgj4&t=3451s 

Testa, Jessica. Julia Fox Gets Dirty to Come Clean. The New York Times, 25 Sept. 2023. www.nytimes.com/2023/09/25/style/julia-fox-memoir-down-the-drain.html. 

Photo Credit: Simon & Schuster, (Book cover of “Down the Drain”).